


Rio

by constantlyinflux



Category: Sicario (Movies)
Genre: M/M, it's rio baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:20:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constantlyinflux/pseuds/constantlyinflux
Summary: “Would you’ve ever thought we’d end up in Rio once?”Matt grins, heart light, leaning against the balustrade above a strip of beach looking out over the Guanabara Bay. The lights of the neighbouring Niterói like giant fireflies shimmering above the water. The whole bay seems to glow, lights meandering around the mountains scattered everywhere, like dropped blobs of dried oil paint, forgotten and old. The city is illuminated, mirrored by its partner city on the other side. Stay here and have fun or go over there. It doesn’t matter.
Relationships: Alejandro Gillick/Matt Graver
Kudos: 2





	Rio

“Would you’ve ever thought we’d end up in Rio once?”

Matt grins, heart light, leaning against the balustrade above a strip of beach looking out over the Guanabara Bay. The lights of the neighbouring Niterói like giant fireflies shimmering above the water. The whole bay seems to glow, lights meandering around the mountains scattered everywhere, like dropped blobs of dried oil paint, forgotten and old. The city is illuminated, mirrored by its partner city on the other side. Stay here and have fun or go over there. It doesn’t matter.

He turns around, leans his back against the handrail. Alejandro is watching him, white shirt and dark pants, drink in hand. A thin sheen of sweat against his temple and neck. Matt feels like he’s melting. They landed here at night, a couple of hours ago, and he has no idea in what kind of a monster that heat will turn during the day if this is the coolest part of the night. The air is warm, sticky like honey, heavy with a mixture of smells he can barely distinguish, like perpetually breathing in all the flavours of a perfumery, the scents of everything human and all the spices of the world. Sweat and laughter and heat and soft lights. He feels like he’s breathing freely for the first time in forever.

He takes a sip of his own drink, rich and strong, adding to the burn in his stomach, the flutter in his chest. He feels wild. Wants to draw in every breath as deep as his body would allow him, the sensation cursing through his veins, intoxicated with alcohol and the buzz of the moment. He’s drunk on feelings.

Alejandro’s face is soft, as soft as he’s ever seen it. Relaxed in a way that makes Matt stare at him in wonder.

“You’re looking good.”

A soft tease. Spoken into his glass, brim touching his lip. Watching Alejandro react to that with a snort, hiding his own smile behind his drink. Matt watches his throat as he swallows, fire in his belly flaring up. It’s way past midnight, they’ve been here for maybe three hours, and he feels perpetually aroused. 

“I mean that. It was a good idea to come here.”

Technically Alejandro’s idea, more a joke, an afterthought really, about how their last op didn’t leave them far from Cali and would it really matter if they just took a plane to travel to the other side of the goddamn continent? Alejandro has already been here once, Matt not even close. So he just booked them flights and to his surprise, there hadn’t been a single word of protest from Alejandro.

Packing basically nothing, they walked over from the airport along the beach, bare feet sinking into the sand, shoes dangling from their hands, sleeves and pant legs rolled up, shoulders bumping into each other, the air heavy with salt.

“Yeah.” Alejandro looks out over the bay. “It was a good idea.”

He hums and Matt can’t stop watching him, wants to touch him and not disturb that picture at the same time. Alejandro turns back to him with an easy smile.

“We still need to find a room for tonight, though.”

Butterflies in his stomach. And Matt grins, downs the rest of his drink.

“Yeah, maybe. Or we just don’t sleep.”

Shirt clinging to his sweaty skin, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, glint in his eyes.

“Let’s just never sleep again.”

Everything is heating up inside and out and he steps closer, heart thrumming in his chest. Voice low.

“And if we do need to, I’m sure you can get us a room. At least one of us speaks the language.”

Alejandro’s eyebrows wander up to his hairline.

“You do know they speak Portuguese here, right?”

Matt laughs.

“Uh, well, isn’t that technically…the same?”

Alejandro snorts and shakes his head, but his face is lit up with joy and, god, Matt would do anything to see him like that. Then Alejandro’s mouth is on his and Matt’s heart drops below his stomach and surges back up into his head. Just the slow drag of lips and his hand comes up to not quite touch Alejandro’s chest, fingertips just barely grazing the fabric of his shirt.

Before he can deepen the kiss, Alejandro pulls back, but not far. Breath ghosting warm in that hot night. Everything is a vacuum of temperature, the same in everything he touches and breathes and swallows, the same in him, and he feels blurry, like his skin is merging with the air around him.

It’s the first time they are truly alone, no one here who knows their names, their faces, their past or present. Far away from everything and everyone they know. Matt itches with all the things that haven’t been said yet, unspoken between them, but for now, for this night, his heart aches for something different.

He takes half a step to close the small gap between them, brushing against Alejandro’s body, tilts his head sligthly, cheek against Alejandro’s cheek, barely touching, heat sinking into his skin, and he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, inhaling his scent, sweaty, heady, to calm his nerves before he asks.

“Dance with me.”

He has his eyes closed, waiting, nerves fluttering, and feels Alejandro take a deep breath, chest brushing against Matt’s. He touches his lips against Alejandro’s cheek, grazing across the stubble there. He loves the burn. Alejandro’s hand comes up against his arm, warm palm against his skin, just a soft touch, as if he’s still not sure how, but he leans into Matt slightly. Like a question. Asking for permission. Not asking Matt.

Matt wants to take him right here, right at this moment, strip him down and lay him out on the warm stone with the waves rolling in below, make love to him, fuck him, feel him tremble and hear him moan, show him how strong his heart is still beating, remind him what it feels like to be alive. The way his body aches with that desire, to have this man feel again, it’s a raw reminder of what he did to him just a couple of weeks ago in that hotel room in Tucson, how he’s taken him to bed. He’s felt this need back then too, although he quiet possibly didn’t understand it completely.

Fuck, he’s been working with Alejandro on and off for about six years now, has dragged him out of his house in Monterrey which was more like a tomb than a real home at that time. He remembers him blinking into the light of the street lamp, remembers the ensuing days, weeks, months. Remembers thinking that he might be in over his head here this time. Remembers not being able to walk away, too. What first felt like responsibility quickly turning into fierce protectiveness. While Alejandro’s condition improved very slowly, Matt watched himself become intrigued by the humour peaking through on clear days, captivated by the simmering intellect buried under rage and self-loathing and so much grief. Watched himself getting drawn to that poetic soul and to all that pain too.

Like he wanted to wrap himself around that walking wound that was this man’s body and that wouldn’t stop bleeding. Soaking up his words and blood all the same.

_Let me take all that pain. Let me carry that for you._

He struggled, for a very long time, with understanding what his heart already knew. Years and years of pushing feelings aside, not acknowledging them, maybe really not recognising them. Why, he can’t say. Maybe because the implications were too complicated the longer they stayed in that uneasy partnership. Maybe he didn’t want to risk pushing Alejandro into something that would probably jeopardise his by then semi-stable condition. Maybe he was too afraid of inviting a man this broken into his life. Maybe he feared what he’d see, reflected back at himself in those eyes.

When in reality, Alejandro was already part of his life, even while they fought and struggled with each other, harsh words, tempers flaring, Matt’s mouth and Alejandro’s stubbornness constantly clashing, Alejandro’s sharp gaze seeing right through him, making his skin crawl. And yet Alejandro seemed to make room for him, even as broken as he was in the beginning, let him be close. And maybe he had seen all that coming all those years ago.

Matt is aching with that desire to make him feel, like he’s done back in that hotel room in Tucson where he’s forever stepped over that last line with no way leading back, like he’s done back at the base the next day when he saw him break.

He can feel all the hesitation in the way Alejandro’s tense body is carefully leaning in, like he doesn’t allow himself to have that. Like he’s forever punishing himself. Eternal repentance. The way he’s been when they were together the past weeks since Tucson. Like he’s not sure. Like he doesn’t know how anymore.

He feels his fingertips tingle with the ache to strip that all away. Make him forget. Not forget his past. Hell, if something here reminds him about his family, he’d happily take that, but if it only reminds him of what he’s lost, Matt wants to take that away. Link it to something else.

His lips touch the corner of Alejandro’s mouth, pressing a soft kiss there.

“Nobody knows us here.”

He pulls back and gets up on his toes to reach the same height. A grin tugs at Alejandro’s lips, some of that uncertainty crumbling away. Matt kisses him, softly, then tilts his head to lick into his mouth, taste him, spikes of desire running down his body with every brush of their tongues. He holds his head and Alejandro’s hand finally comes up against his back. Warm. Right below his shoulder blades.

They’re growing hungry and Matt presses his hips against Alejandro’s, moans into the kiss. The hand on his back pulls him close and he wants to stay, fuck, he wants to stay, to keep going. He pulls back, stares at Alejandro’s mouth, into his eyes, that glint of danger there that he’s learned to read so well. He drops down on his heels, lets his palm brush against Alejandro’s cheek. Since Tucson, he feels like he can’t keep his hands off him anymore, not even for a second. Looking back now, he can see how he’s been orbiting that man for years, getting closer and closer, like a moth seeking the heat. How he’s always liked to touch him, how his heart has made little, stupid somersaults in his chest whenever Alejandro touched him. Looking back, he can see so much now.

But in Tucson, he’s seen him fall apart, those two nights. And all he wants now is to touch him, keep touching him, like Alejandro might just vanish if he let go for a moment, like he feels the need to remind him he’s still there and that he’ll stay. Fuck, he’ll stay.

“Fuck, I’ll stay.”

It’s out before he can stop it. Just a whisper. Alejandro’s face goes soft and he touches their foreheads together, that warm hand still against Matt’s back, and his heart aches, knowing that Alejandro hasn’t been touched in years, and he wants to desperately turn back time and make every touch count, every softness. He feels like he’s wasted those moments, all the time not fully realising that he’s been closer to this man than anybody else since his family died.

Alejandro closes his eyes just briefly and Matt lets him lean into him, taking some of that weight, lets his breath ghost over his face before he asks again.

“Dance with me.”

Alejandro licks his lips before he steps back and Matt wonders if he thinks of his wife.

“If you want me to dance with you…”

Alejandro raises his glass and swallows the rest of his drink, looking at Matt.

“…I’ll need another drink.”

Matt grins.

“I think I can manage that.”

He points to the bar. Loud music pulsing inside, escaping through the open doors and wafting around them where they stand alone on the terrace looking down at the waves, everybody else inside, dancing or drinking or both. Hell, he wants to do both. He hasn’t felt this loose in ages.

“Let’s get you a drink then.”

They walk inside, the threshold like a barrier that, once stepped over it, unleashes the full spectrum of intense music on their bodies, deep drums vibrating in Matt’s bones. He feels vibrantly alive, buzzing with energy, as he leans over the counter and orders two drinks.

“The same okay?”

He basically needs to shout into Alejandro’s ear to be heard over the music. Alejandro gestures to the bartender and leans in to make changes to Matt’s order. He can’t understand the words, even this close, but Alejandro’s definitely not speaking English. So much for Portuguese. Matt lifts his eyebrows.

_What did you order?_

Alejandro fucking smirks at him. The bartender places a bottle on the counter that Matt has never seen before, what looks like bast fibres woven around it, and he can’t read the label in the dim light. Two shot glasses full of clear liquid. Alejandro hands him one.

“What is that?”

Alejandro shakes his head.

“Try it.”

They raise their glasses and keep eye contact while downing their drinks. Sugar. Fruits. A little bit spicy. It’s nice, rolls down the back of his tongue with a burst of sweet. Matt cocks an eyebrow.

“Doesn’t taste that strong. So what is it?”

Alejandro leans in close, mouth against Matt’s ear.

“Cachaça.”

He’s never heard of it, but the way Alejandro’s accent shapes the syllables drips down his neck like that drink did his tongue.

“And you need to wait for it to settle.”

And the promise of that makes something entirely different settle in his stomach. He leans in that last bit, presses a kiss against Alejandro’s ear, breathes in that sweet scent of salt and just _him_. Sweat curling the dark hair at his temple. Matt closes his eyes, feels himself sway slightly, the world tilting, the drinks they already had on that terrace burning through his veins. His heart beating with a strong rhythm.

“Well, if you want to get me drunk, that could get messy real quick.”

His tongue feels like its glued to the roof of his mouth. Trying to say you didn’t eat the sweets while tearing your teeth apart, stuck together with caramel.

“Mmmmh.”

Alejandro’s mouth hot behind his ear, sucking at the sweat there.

“I've never minded messy...”

Dark voice. Sharp pain. Teeth against his skin. And Matt moans, mouth falling open. His breath must be burning against Alejandro’s skin the way he feels like his body is on fire. The way they are barely touching each other.

“So you want to get me on that dancefloor?”

Matt’s eyes snap open at the question and he starts to breathe again. When they look at each other, he can see his own burning hot desire reflected back at him in Alejandro’s dark eyes, pupils blown wide with alcohol and lust and the dim light of the room. He takes Alejandro’s hand and turns around.

He takes a deep breath that second before he walks past the first row of people, excitement rolling down his back in waves, heart fluttering like he’s fifteen again, Alejandro’s hand burning in his. It’s like he enters a bubble, like his body passes through a thin membrane. One moment it’s warm and sticky, the next there’s just heat. Like the air turned into liquid. The pulsing light, slow ripples, following the rhythm of foreign music, makes the bodies around him look like they move underwater. He almost holds his breath, weaves through the dancers. Heat and the smell of sweat and bodies brushing against him and it’s infatuating.

He turns around.

And they stop. Frozen in a sea of moving heartbeats. They are so very close, Alejandro’s fingers in his palm, and Matt thinks he might just lose himself in those eyes, sink down and never come up again. There’s no hesitation in Alejandro’s face, maybe the first time ever since that night in Tucson, and Matt doesn’t care if it’s the alcohol or something different. He steps forward, can’t get enough of being this close to him, never wants to be anything else but this. Touching him. Feeling him by his side.

He starts to move, slowly, lets the music drag him away, hesitation, thoughts, everything, gives them all over and the rhythm carries it away like a river. Just away from him. From them. Even if just for this night. He brushes his lips and nose against Alejandro’s cheek, watches him close his eyes, wants to trail that drop of sweat rolling down his neck with his tongue. He moves against him, wills him to let got, let go of it, no weights this night, no past, no thoughts about tomorrow and what lies ahead, just now, right now, let go.

He feels all the sweat on his skin, fabric clinging to his body, not even cooling down where his skin is bare against the air. Trickling down his back. Hair sticking to his face. He moves back just a little to look at Alejandro, wants to show him everything he feels with his eyes, holding his gaze against his heart beating strong with excitement and nervousness, lets his face be open. And the way that hurts. Intense pain and very sweet pain too. His whole body tries to revolt against it. Against all of this. Get your walls up. Right now. But he just wants him to see, wants Alejandro to look at him no matter what it costs.

_You can have me, if you want to. I’m yours. Have been for a fucking long time now._

He feels lost. Lost for words. Drifting. Feels lost with this man and at home for the first time in forever. Like he took everything Matt used as direction, everything he needed to make sense of his life, and burned it in front of his eyes. And then he offered him his hand, the promise to show him what’s behind the next hill heavy on his lips. And how did he do that without words? When it’s always been Matt taking that next step to bring them closer to what they obviously both felt? Like Alejandro has just been waiting for him to figure it out, waited with that half-smile tugging at his lips, for Matt to round the corner. And fuck, he can taste that promise on Alejandro’s lips every time, like honey, so sweet his body doesn’t know what to do with it, and shouldn’t it be him being there for this man who lost everything? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Alejandro tugs at his hand, pulls him in. Matt steadies himself against his chest, smiles at him, and Alejandro licks at his lips, dark eyes roaming over Matt’s face.

“You’re beautiful.”

And Matt’s heart stutters. Hot and cold washing over his body. Smile morphing into something he can’t put in words. He feels like he’s floating, burning, wants to burn to ashes and fall down softly on this man’s skin.

Alejandro leans in and kisses him, brings his hands up to grab his head, thumbs brushing against his cheekbones, fingers hooking under his jaw. Slow and sensual and Matt’s hands come up too, wavering, unsure for just that moment, too much of everything, before they brush along the side of Alejandro’s body, over his waist, and hook behind his back, pulling him in hips first.

And Alejandro starts moving them, leading with his hips, tongue brushing against Matt’s, devouring him, hands against his head like he never wants to let go again. Like he’s drowning and needs to breathe his air while they are sinking down. Their bodies are swaying together, movements intensifying slowly. Nothing exists outside of their own private world anymore and Matt just wants to sink into that body, press against him head to toe, skin melting against skin. He’s stopped caring about the heat because everything is heat now. Heat and sweat. And his hand brushes up Alejandro’s back to tangle in his hair, to pull him into a kiss that can’t get any deeper and yet he’s hungry for more. Feels like he’s starving.

Rough fabric rubbing over sweaty skin, hard cocks pressing against hips, and he’s moaning into Alejandro’s mouth. Movements getting more intense. One of Alejandro’s hands glides down, splays against the small of his back and pulls him in tight, hips rolling against each other, and Matt lets his hand slip under Alejandro’s loose shirt, palm against his hot, sweaty skin, roaming over his back.

He’s beyond caring about anything, the friction between their hips burning on his skin, can’t stop rubbing himself against Alejandro, against Alejandro’s cock straining against his pants. They both moan, break the kiss, foreheads touching, heavy breath, panting against each other’s lips.

“Fuck.”

Matt tries to catch his breath and can’t.

“Yeah.”

Alejandro stares at his mouth, drags his thumb across Matt’s lower lip, and Matt catches it with his teeth, flicks his tongue against the pad right when Alejandro’s gaze shifts up again, and Alejandro moans, staring right into his eyes, and Matt can see his pupils dilate, feels heat washing over his skin in waves. Something very far away in the corner of his mind asks him if he’s aware that they are putting on a show here, right in the middle of the dancefloor, for everyone to see, and he doesn’t care even a little bit. He can’t even see the other people anymore. They are moving patches of colour, completely out of focus. All he can see is Alejandro staring at him with dark eyes and parted lips and sweat rolling down his temple. Alejandro brushing his slick thumb across Matt’s lips, down his chin and throat, letting his hand travel up again to tangle in Matt’s hair.

They are almost mirroring each other now, hands pulling their heads close, foreheads touching, while their hips are still moving, having found their own rhythm. He’s not sure if he’s ever felt something as intense as this, staring into each other’s eyes, pants rubbing over hard cocks, watching each other becoming more and more aroused, eyelids fluttering, skidding on the edge of coming undone completely. And that small voice in the back of his head asks how long he can actually hold that up before he comes in his pants and if he really wants that to happen here. And he knows the answer to the first question because not very fucking long thank you, and he’s too far gone to find one for the second too.

He wonders if Alejandro will stop them before it’s too late but is too afraid to ask, too afraid that’ll break the spell. That they won’t be able to continue afterwards. That Alejandro, once he regained some control over his brain, once they’ve both cooled off a bit, will stop himself from going down that path. That he’ll think about what his life now is and that there’s no place for something like this. That he knows that there’s a cliff at the end of that path and that he needs to stop now.

But Matt just wants to run, so fast he can’t hear his own thoughts anymore, lungs burning, bare feed thudding on sand, driving his body forward with powerful strides, and hurl himself off that cliff.

No idea what’s down there.

Doesn’t care either.

And he wants to say _Take my hand and fall with me._

And he feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes and can’t believe that, too. Mouth twitching. Swallows. Fingers digging into Alejandro’s back. Palm brushing across Alejandro’s cheek. Gaze flickering all over his face, lips, nose, cheek, chin, brows, back to his eyes. His heart is too big for his chest, squeezes against his ribs, so full and wide open it’s painful, hammering so fast he thinks he’s hyperventilating, and he can’t breathe, can’t breathe, arousal soaring up from his groin, clashing against the pulse his hearts sends down, hot lava meeting boiling blood, whirring in his stomach, churning, suffocating, and Alejandro kisses him, pulls at his hair to get just the right angle, and devours him.

And Matt can barely do anything but hold on, cling to him. He feels helpless and it’s never been this good, wants to surrender to him right here, right now. Alejandro’s hands against his lower back, pressing him against his hips, rolling together. One thigh between his legs, one of his between Alejandro’s. Moving with the smallest steps. Burning friction, getting messy. Fingers gripping at Alejandro’s neck. Nails clawing at his back. _More. More._ Alejandro’s tongue licking into his mouth, eating him alive, fist tight in his hair, and Matt thinks they could just tumble down that cliff like this. His brain knows nothing but _Get your hand down there and get you both off._ And he knows he won’t need his hand anymore in a couple of seconds. Pace so fast and intense. He’s so close, he can feel his own release build up rapidly. Losing it. Falling.

Alejandro drags his mouth away and they both groan, halts his hips and Matt can’t keep himself from moving against him, but Alejandro’s hand against his back presses him close, forces them both to stop. At first, he thinks Alejandro did actually come, but his body is tense in a way that doesn’t speak of release, just like Matt’s, eyes closed and a deep frown between his brows, panting against Matt’s mouth, lips barely apart, open mouths brushing against each other, sucking in air.

Matt is falling apart rapidly between all the points where their bodies are touching, between that fist in his hair and that hand on his lower back, heat soaking through the fabric like Alejandro’s palm is nothing but red-hot ember. He nips at Alejandro’s lip, licks across it, makes them both moan, makes Alejandro open his eyes. And fuck, he looks like he’s already over that cliff, they both do probably.

“Let’s get out of here?”

Alejandro’s voice is shredded, deep with arousal and tension.

Matt laughs, shaky, breathless. A tremble running through his body.

“Fuck yeah.”

They don’t move for another long moment, gazes locked on each other, seeing and showing everything. Then Alejandro spreads his fingers against the back of his head and places a gentle kiss between his eyebrows, lips lingering there. Matt closes his eyes. Floating. Falling. Drifting. Those lips against his skin his only anchor. He breathes in. They start to relax hands and limbs, untangle them from each other’s hair and clothes, stepping back but never far. Looking at each other, staring. Hungry. So hungry. Deep desire surging through their bodies. Music coming alive again around them, bursting their bubble, rhythm washing over them, drums bouncing off their skin, light flooding back in. Matt doesn’t look around to see if anyone is watching them.

Alejandro takes his hand, warm, alive, turns around and finds them a way out of that ocean of moving flesh and thrumming heartbeats.

The world around him is plunged into a haze. His only focus Alejandro’s white shirt in front of him and fuck, how he can even bear to wear a long-sleeved shirt in that heat is beyond him. But he’s moving and Matt thinks he might just float away, if Alejandro wouldn’t hold his hand. Lights shifting over that white shirt. Colours. Shadows. Light. Just float away, hitting one of those bodies around him and get lost in that crowd. He’d never find his way back. He’s too far gone already.

His face is hot, his body. Like a fever. He wants another drink. Knows that wouldn’t help at all. And Alejandro moves into another direction anyway. He has trouble breathing, feels his heart wild against his ribs, chest tightening, painful. Tries to catch up with all of it. Fingers grasping Alejandro’s hand tighter, and Alejandro’s like a wall. Moving through that sea of dancers, never slowing down, and they let him pass, everyone just that little bit shorter than he is. Alejandro’s shoulders shift and he moves Matt’s hand from one palm to the other behind his back, looks at him just for a second, before he breaks through that outer ring of people, dragging Matt behind.

Heat. And cold. He knows it’s not true, but he feels like he’s plunged into a tub of ice water. Like he can breathe freely now, drag in the cold air. Feels the sweat on his skin cool rapidly. His shirt is soaked. But Alejandro isn’t stopping and if anything, the sudden drop in temperature only heightens his awareness of his own body. Of the heat he’s radiating. The flushed cheeks. His hard cock.

He watches Alejandro’s back, muscles moving under that shirt that doesn’t show signs of sweat at all, lets him lead them wherever he thinks is right, watches his ass in those pants, and the cool air shifts to heat again. His body acclimatising to what has always just been warm air. Alejandro stops, just for a couple of seconds, to let a group of people in before he steps into the darker corridor. And Matt almost stumbles against him, stops, nothing but a thin layer of air between their bodies. And their hands in a tight grip. Those seconds stretch to eternities and he watches a bead of sweat roll down Alejandro’s neck and disappear behind his collar, imagines it to continue between his shoulder blades, to roll down his back where the thin fabric of his shirt doesn’t touch his skin, following the outline of his spine, and his gaze shifts down to the curve of Alejandro’s ass, almost touching his hip, back up to his neck and he can see all the tiny hairs there like his eyes just gained a new level of focus, all the pores, the sweat. He breathes in, feels like he can taste all the hormones against the back of his throat, arousal washing over him, dragging a groan from his lips.

They are moving. Seconds gone. His breath struggling to get anywhere, in or out, sharing a nonexistent rhythm with his stuttering heart. He _wants_. So much. So hot. He couldn’t look anywhere else even if he wanted. His fingers tighten around Alejandro’s, tug at his hand. Alejandro stops, turns. Matt crashes him into the wall.

The surprised sound dragged from Alejandro’s lips gets lost against Matt’s mouth, shifts to needy. In an instant they’re moving against each other like there has been no break between this and the dancefloor, rubbing against each other like horny teenagers, and he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care. Rough against the wall. Don’t stop. Desperate.

Alejandro’s hands are on his ass, grasping, pulling him in, grinding their hips together. His head is reeling. He moans, drags his mouth along Alejandro’s jaw, biting down hard, sucks at his neck and throat when Alejandro lets his head fall back to give him room. He feels those hands slip into his pants, barely any space, palms hot against his skin, gripping his ass. They move him against Alejandro’s hips, _hotcloseburning_ , and he just lets the moans tumble from his lips while he licks and sucks at his collarbone, leaving deep marks.

He wants more. So much more. Fumbles blindly with the next button, tugs, impatient groan, hears something tear and the button is gone. Buries his face against Alejandro’s shoulder, biting at the skin there, tongue lapping at sweat. He brushes one hand down Alejandro’s chest, slips under his shirt, fingers digging into his waist, pushes the other down between their bodies, incredible heat, drags the heel of his hand along the outline of Alejandro’s cock, presses himself against his own hand. They both moan. Alejandro’s nails are leaving marks, digging into his skin. They move, hands, hips, hearts. Building up to that height again and already so close.

“Fuck, I need you.”

Breath hot against Alejandro’s neck. Biting at his ear. Clawing at his hip. Palm hot against his cock. Matt just wants to ruin him against this wall. Wants him to fuck him against this wall. Wants to get on his knees and take him against this wall.

“I need…”

He rubs himself against the back of his own hand. Words stumbling into a moan. Ragged breath.

“Please.”

He presses open-mouthed kisses against Alejandro’s throat, neck, jaw.

“Please…please...”

Whispering. Breathless. Groan deep when he drags his teeth across the stubble on Alejandro’s cheek. Feels Alejandro’s answering breath stutter across his own skin as he turns his head, moans his name against his temple.

“Matt.”

He shudders, feels one of Alejandro’s hands slip from his pants and join his own between their bodies, mirroring him. Pressing close. Mouths and hips. Messy. Fast. Matt’s toes curl, body taut, palm burning against the fabric of Alejandro’s pants, keeping his hips still because he’s drowning against the pace Alejandro is setting. Open mouths pressing against each other, inhaling the others’ panted breaths.

He feel his brain tip over, an explosion of white, bright light behind his eyes. Lightheaded. High. Hand jerking against Alejandro’s pants in an attempt to keep up while his mind is washed away.

A loud voice explodes behind his back, startles them both to a stop. Speaking Spanish. Portuguese. Matt’s brain tries to claw through the words, achieves nothing. Angry. Angry voice. He’s balancing on a tightrope above a gorge as deep as the universe. On tiptoes. Breath pressed flat. Heart hammering against his chest so hard he can feel it on his tongue. His body trembles with tension. And just like that, the voice is gone again, and he moves his hand, wants Alejandro to go on, but he grabs Matt’s hand and holds it tight. He groans, shivers against Alejandro’s body and lets his head drop against his shoulder.

“Let me guess, he said something along the lines of ‘get a fucking room’?”

His voice is a wreck, on the verge of sobbing. He moves his hand in Alejandro’s grip, pressing against him, fingers curling. Testing. Wants to make him feel so good. Wants that moan he’s stealing from his throat with his movements. He’s addicted to it. To have him come undone under his hands. Mouth. Body.

Alejandro’s hand is shaking, fingers splaying, hesitating, finally pressing in. Moving Matt’s hand against him. Hips meeting them. The other hand kneading at his ass.

“Yeah.”

That tremble is there in Alejandro’s voice too. Lips against Matt’s hair.

“Pretty much what he said, yeah.”

The sentence ends in a moan as Alejandro brushes Matt’s hand up and down, presses himself into his palm, rocking his hips, curling his fingers and dragging his knuckles across Matt’s jeans-clad cock with every move, and Matt thinks he’s losing his mind with the endless friction, the constant strain, taking him high again and again, keeping him on the brink of release and never taking that last step.

He rolls his hips, Alejandro’s shirt now as sweat-soaked as his own, drags his lips up to Alejandro’s ear again. Ruined.

“Show me what you like.”

He drags his thumbnail down along the length of Alejandro’s cock, rubs the heel of his hand across the wet spot on the thin fabric. Licks at his ear when he hears his breath hitch. A shaky exhale. Alejandro swallows, shakes his head.

“Out.”

Breathless. His hand leaves Matt’s, cups his cheek, tilts his head back to look at him. His raspy breath swallows half the sentence.

“…get out.”

His fingers brush through Matt’s hair, gaze flickering all over his face, and Matt thinks he’s staring at a drowning man who looks at him like he’s the last thing that can save him from certain death. His mouth runs dry.

“Okay.”

He tips their foreheads together, thumb drawing circles against Alejandro’s hip.

“Yeah.”

He lets his other hand slip from between their bodies, but his lips twitch with a barely held-back grin and he pushes his thumb behind the waistband of Alejandro’s pants, presses against sensitive skin, slick, watches Alejandro close his eyes, hungrily catches that exhausted moan leaving his lips with his own, catches his body too as he’s sagging against the wall, grasps at his hip, presses his thigh between Alejandro’s legs . He waits for him to open his eyes again before he brings his hand up and licks at his thumb. Alejandro stares, holds his breath, their faces so close, noses touching, his fingers tightening in Matt’s hair and Matt wants that. Wants him to lose it against his body.

Alejandro’s lips move but Matt doesn’t get the words or maybe it’s really just this one he understands...

“Pecado.”

_Sin._

…before Alejandro’s pushes himself off that wall and captures Matt’s mouth in a hard kiss, walking him backwards. Tumbling. Staggering in the general direction of the exit, Matt thinks. It’s the last coherent thought he can produce before they are stumbling through the door. Night. Warm. Sweet. Salt. Wind. Remembering they both don’t wear shoes. Alejandro’s hands tugging his shirt up, palms brushing over his waist, stomach, back, moving him. His own hands fumbling with the remaining buttons of Alejandro’s shirt while they kiss, stumble, dance, getting the last one open eventually. Hands eager to touch his skin, as much as he can reach.

His brain freezes, then explodes when Alejandro’s fingers open his belt. He’s pushed against a wall. Button. Alejandro presses against him. Zipper. Kisses him. Hungry. Pushes his pants down over his hips. Matt’s hands come up, tangle in his hair. He moans into Alejandro’s mouth when he finally feels him wrap his hand around his cock. Feels him stroke along the length, fist tight, slow drag, sweet, sweet torture. Thumb spreading the wetness. Everything already so slick. Hips stuttering. The hand gone. Fingers tugging at his shirt again. That hot mouth leaving his lips, wandering down where the fabric is bunched up over his chest. Down. Down. Hot against his stomach.

Down.

He stares at Alejandro sliding down to his knees. Stares as Alejandro wraps his hand around his cock. Stares as he takes him into his mouth. And Matt forgets to breathe. Eyes rolling back, head hitting the wall.

The sensation running through his body is overwhelming, every nerve tingling, blood singing. His hands. Lost contact when Alejandro kneeled. Fluttering. Shaking. Curling into fists, grasping at warm air. Brushing over Alejandro’s shoulders, neck, into his hair, combing, stroking softly, wanting to tell him, wanting to be gentle while he’s falling apart against that wall, moans spilling from his lips, loud, unrestrained. He presses his shoulders and the back of his head hard against the warm wall to keep his hips still. His head reeling with the thought that this is the first time he has Alejandro’s mouth on him like this. With the thought that this is the first time Alejandro is doing this for another man. With the thought of that magic.

It’s an intangibly sweet mixture of careful insecurity and hot, burning need. And some rational little thing at the back of his mind is very grateful for that. Otherwise, he would have come right here.

He sags against the wall, lets himself drown in that pleasure. Fingertips brushing through dark hair, ghosting down the side of Alejandro’s face, stroking softly along his jaw. Matt arches his back, lets his mouth fall open, wants him to hear everything. On display for anyone walking past this alley.

Alejandro’s mouth around him is nothing short of ruinous. Slick heat and slow friction, lips pressing down around him, tongue testing, alternating between eager and trying to find what he likes. Matt lets him hear it all, the attention driving him crazy, letting himself get vocal when he feels the heat surge through his veins.

“God, Alejandro. Fuck. Right there.”

He’s writhing against the wall, taking his own hands up above his head, not entirely trusting his restraint to let Alejandro move on his own pace. Knuckles scraping across rough paint, fingers flexing and curling while the tip of Alejandro’s tongue repeatedly flicks over the head of his cock. Lips closing around him, sucking, fist moving up and down, slick friction. Matt moans. His heart racing. Arms sagging down a little. Alejandro’s free hand against his bare thigh, thumb stroking at the inside.

“Right there. Right…god. So good. Feels so good.”

He lets the words tumble from his lips, moans his name, whispers it, pressure building rapidly behind taut muscles, his thighs starting to tremble. Alejandro moves his fist down to the base of his cock, leaving his thumb and fingers loosely around it, holding him, giving himself more room.

Matt can’t stop his eyes from opening, watching as Alejandro moves down on him, watching his cock slowly slide into his mouth, stretching his lips. Watching Alejandro’s closed eyes, the slight frown between his eyebrows. Watching him on his knees, shirt open, hot mouth sliding down on him. The groan that is being torn from his throat is obscene. He can’t stop staring. His head is buzzing. His fingertips are too. His palms. Lips. Ears ringing. Hot. Tongue licking over parted lips.

The door opens. Loud laughter. And he realises they didn’t make it exactly far. Has to force his gaze away, over to the group of young people leaving the bar. The moment their eyes meet, they fall silent. Stop. Freeze. Stare. Matt stares back. Dumbfounded. Brain unable to decide anything here. He’s sure Alejandro must have heard them too, but he doesn’t stop. He moves his hand up from Matt’s thigh to his stomach, splaying warm against his skin, pressing him against the wall, and Matt feels him hollow his cheeks and move back, down again, setting an intense rhythm.

Matt presses his hips back against the wall to keep them from rolling forward, gaze still locked on this group, mind clouded over with lust. He feels his orgasm building up powerful below his navel, pulling his abs taut, tugging at the muscles in his thighs, at his brain until it feels like its melting and dripping down his spine. He stares at them. Moves his hand to press down on Alejandro’s against his stomach, encourages him to push him against the wall. And to have at least one point to anchor him, to hold onto. He stares. Seconds. Moments. Tiny fractions of time getting lost against his wild heartbeat.

It's like his brain is asking for permission here, fight or flight, giving him one last way out. And he doesn’t care. Not with this man going to his knees for him. He rakes his free hand through Alejandro’s hair. _Mine._ Closes his eyes, lets his head drop back against the wall and gives himself over.

Alejandro’s mouth around him, tight heat, picking up pace, rhythm getting messy. Matt feels like part of his body is detaching itself, a mirror image, a copy of every single cell, a ghost. Rising up, hovering just a little above the street. And he’s up there, floating, and down here at the same time, firmly anchored against the warm wall, bare feet on warm cobblestone, warm palms against his skin.

The constant friction of that night, never tumbling over that peak, the tension of the past weeks, work stress and no time alone, to explore, to understand, to offer. It’s all spinning inside him, taking him to new heights. He tries to hold back, clutching at Alejandro’s hand, only intensifying what’s building up like a giant wave, ready to break.

He tugs at Alejandro’s hair, moans. Forces words out where nothing rational seems to reside in his brain anymore.

“So close. Alejandro.”

Forces his trembling hand to brush against the side of his face, thumb stroking along his jaw. Wants to let him know. But Alejandro doesn’t stop and Matt’s hand drops down on his shoulder, grips tight. And that wave breaks over him.

“Ale—”

Washes him away entirely.

He hears himself cry out, long moan, groan getting deep, ragged. Feels both his fists suddenly tight in Alejandro’s shirt, both of Alejandro’s hands on his hips, pressing him against the wall while he rolls with it. Searing hot in his veins, white in his head, fireworks on his skin. That last fraction of his sanity feels Alejandro pull back a little, but not off. And he tries desperately to give him room. Getting dragged under by the current. Gone.

He only comes down slowly from that high. To Alejandro’s hands holding him up against the wall. To his mouth pressing a kiss against his thigh. He struggles to focus, fumbles his way through his dizzy mind, fog clearing only slowly, forces his legs to support his weight. He’s never felt a rush this intense, this long-lasting. His heart must have slipped into his head, he can feel it beat there, deep thrum. Everything feels hypersensitive and his breathing isn’t quite right.

His gaze wanders to the door.

They are gone.

Down to Alejandro and he tugs at his collar, at his shirt, arms, hips, while he’s moving up slowly, pulling Matt’s pants up in the process.

“You okay?”

Is all he manages to say, his tongue feels too big, before Alejandro crushes their mouths together. Matt needs to come up for air soon, already short-winded, but moves back in, that taste of himself on Alejandro’s lips simply addicting. Alejandro hums into his mouth. Presses wet kisses against Matt’s jaw, buries his face against Matt’s neck, rock-hard cock pressing against Matt’s belly, he groans into his skin, melts against him, hands everywhere, grasping, touching, holding.

Matt fumbles with his own belt, hands still trembling, then pulls Alejandro flush against him, running his fingers through his hair, down the nape of his neck. Brushes his lips against his ear.

“Come on, let me take you someplace quiet.”

Alejandro moans against his neck, moves against him, needy, fingers grasping at Matt’s hips, and he knows this. Alejandro’s way of seeking comfort where he can’t allow himself to have it. Too familiar with the way he leans in, resting his head against Matt’s shoulder, the need to hide and be close at the same time. He’s held him like this so many times, a hand against Alejandro’s neck, the other around his cock, holding, guiding him through the aftershocks. Only this time, it’s different.

Matt runs his hands up into Alejandro’s hair, gently pulls his head up and kisses him. Slow. Licks along his bottom lip. Alejandro moans, fingers digging into his waist.

“Fuck, Alejandro. I know.”

He pushes himself off the wall, against him, pushes at him, kisses him.

“I know. Come on.”

Takes his hand and pulls him along, down the alley. His pulse is like a wild animal under his skin.

He wants an island for them.

A world.

Nothing less.

Nobody else.

Warm stone under his bare feet. The streets are almost empty. A brilliantly clear sky. All the smells pouring back in. Life at his fingertips. Alejandro’s warm palm. And he wants to hold his hand forever. Wants to lead him to paradise. To show him so much. Everything. _Let’s just stay here. Let me love you._

Warm stone steps.

Warm sand.

Salt.

They’ve reached the beach and Matt digs his toes into the sand, walks them along the stone wall, eager, until they reach the line of small pavilions he’d noticed on their way from the airport. He turns around there, let’s Alejandro close the gap, open shirt wafting in the warm breeze. Matt pushes it from his shoulders. The night paints his skin dark and Matt wants to drink the moonlight from his chest.

Alejandro looks at him like he just saw him emerge from the sand and Matt feels it all echoed back at him, his wild heart beating so strong, colliding with the thrum of Alejandro’s pulse, loud, chaotic, unyielding, until they find a shared rhythm, shifting, starting to align. He leans in to kiss Alejandro’s shoulder, lets his fingertips travel down his arms to his upturned palms. Alejandro curls his fingers around Matt’s hands and pulls him close, presses hot lips against his ear.

“I want you.”

Matt shivers, feels that run down his body, the spike of desire making his cock twitch.

“God yes.” Breathless. “I want that too.”

He pulls back, feels the glint in his own eyes. Grin spilling over as he pulls his shirt over his head.

“Let’s get in there.”

He tilts his head towards the water. Alejandro’s eyes follow that gesture, raised eyebrows, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips and his gaze is roaming over Matt’s body again, stays with his eyes. Intense. Matt wants to wrap that half-smile around himself. He opens his jeans and pushes them down, leaves them in the sand.

“Come on.”

He walks down the beach, but looks back to see Alejandro get rid of his pants too. He’s following him and Matt stops when his feet sink into wet sand, water lapping at his toes. Alejandro is already behind him when he turns and Matt takes in his body with hungry eyes. Strong, broad, aroused. A labyrinth of marks under starlight. His thumbs are travelling over scars, faint and fresh, push at the crease of his thighs, take his cock in hand. Alejandro’s hand wraps around him, guides him, and Matt feels his heart flutter.

They kiss under the stars, for everyone to see, and the water washes around their ankles, surges up to their shins and thighs as they move deeper into the dark. Matt drags his thumb over the tip of Alejandro’s leaking cock, wanting to hear that moan again so he can swallow it down before he lets go and drags them both down into the water.

He sinks down.

Back first.

Pulls Alejandro with him.

Darkness all around them. Still warm and too cool at the same time, washing away the sweat, washing away the smells, drowning out the lights and stars. No sky. Just darkness. He wants to just float. Could be an ocean. Could be space. No difference. Just a mirror.

A fixed point.

Could lead anywhere from here.

And Alejandro pulls him up again. They’ve been dragged away from the beach by the tide, waves surging around their chests. The night air feels cold on his skin now. Water drips from Alejandro’s hair and nose, gets caught in his beard. Pearl earrings made of drops and starlight. His fingertips touch Matt’s lips, gaze following down. He stares, a deep frown between his eyebrows.

“What do you see?”

Matt can’t help but ask, and he feels warmth surge up in his stomach, creep across his cheeks. Alejandro moves his head as if he wants to shake it but stops halfway, the lines in his face speaking of so much insecurity. Confusion. Fear. Hesitation. Matt takes his hand, presses his lips against his fingers.

“Talk to me. Come on.”

Alejandro faces twitches, his other hand coming up to cup Matt’s cheek. There is so much pain in his eyes, Matt wants to wail at the night. He releases Alejandro’s hand as it moves to mirror the other, pulling him in until their heads meet. Fingertips brush across wet skin behind his ears, thumbs ghost over his lips. Alejandro’s gaze is hungry, pained, eyes slipping closed.

“Tell me how to do this.”

It’s just a whisper condensing warm against Matt’s wet lips, and this time, Alejandro shakes his head.

“I don’t know how to do this.”

Matt’s heart aches with that confession. Raw and brutally honest. He presses his lips against Alejandro’s mouth, opens him up to his tongue, wants to swallow that broken voice, wants to tell him he doesn’t know either, that he can’t give back what he lost, that he just selfishly wants him, wants to keep him and never let go again. His hands brush over Alejandro’s skin underwater, grasp at him, keep him close.

They’re dancing in the sky full of stars with the ocean above them.

“Stay.”

He pants against Alejandro’s lips, insane fear clawing at his heart with a sudden fierceness that steals his breath away.

“Please stay. Please.”

He opens his eyes, forces himself to look at the man in his arms, to look at what he might see there. The stars are all around them. Above them. Reflected in Alejandro’s eyes. And he only sees softness there. A rare glimpse of the man he might have been before Matt found him. Of a life Matt hasn’t known. He treasures these moments. He likes to think this is how he must have looked at his wife and daughter. He’s not sure if he can handle that gaze being directed at him.

“I can’t give you an answer to this.”

And now it’s him shaking his head in Alejandro’s hands. But he wants, needs him to understand.

“I don’t have an answer to any of this. Nothing makes sense anymore.”

He feels the emotions threaten to pull him down, overwhelmingly pressing against his chest. And he fights to keep them at bay. Make him see.

“Except I don’t want you to go.”

Alejandro’s expression transforms into something Matt has never seen before on his face. Open. And very vulnerable. The only thing he can compare it to is the state Alejandro has been in for the first weeks after Matt dragged him out of his house. But this is very different.

He’d call it love, but his heart tries to reject that. Paralysed.

Alejandro’s thumbs brush over his cheeks and Matt blinks, realises he’s wiping away tears he hasn’t even noticed falling down. He feels so out of balance. Not in contact with anything anymore. There’s an ocean of stars around him and the universe is pulling at his skin. Alejandro kisses his face and Matt wonders if the salt of tears is different to that of the sea.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Murmurs against closed eyelids and Matt’s heart comes to a stuttering halt.

“I wouldn’t know where to go.”

His hands reach for Alejandro’s wrists, fingertips digging deep into skin. Anchor point. Fixed point. Leads anywhere from here.

Their mouths clash and the hunger between them is like a drum in Matt’s ear. Burning hot. Buzzing blood. His toes curl, dig into the ground. He wants this man. And he wants the stars to watch.

“Make love to me.”

He moans between kisses, breathes the words against Alejandro’s lips for him to taste, licks at them to taste them himself.

“Take me. I want you. This. All of it. Have me.”

Alejandro’s answer spills from his lips as a ragged groan and they try to find their way back to the beach. A tangle of limbs. Grasping hands. Wet mouths and hungry noises. Stumbling back. Pushed back by the waves. Washed ashore like driftwood. They go down before they reach dry sand. Tripping over the receding tide and their raging hearts. Matt kneeling over Alejandro, knees between his thighs, hands sinking into the sand with the push and pull of the water.

Alejandro looks at him, propped up on his elbows. Life carved into his skin and Matt wants to worship every mark on his body. He holds his gaze and sinks his mouth down on Alejandro’s cock. Watches his mouth fall open and his head fall back. Beauty at his fingertips. Perfection just for him to taste. He sinks down slowly, takes all of him, water pulling at his limbs, waits there, equilibrium, swallows around him, feels the tide rushing back in and drags his lips back up. Releases him just before the waves wash over them, crashing him into Alejandro, and their mouths find each other, bodies pushed a little further up the beach.

Hands grasping at waists, clawing at backs, gripping cocks. Matt is hard again. Warm water and cool night air on his skin raising goosebumps. They make it back up the beach somehow, the ocean spilling them out like shells. Tumbling across dry sand and falling down in a wet heap on one of the beach beds where they left their clothes. White fabric and basketwork. Silk curtains draped around pavilion poles leading up to a canopy that leaves just enough room to let the stars blink at them lazily.

The beach is deserted. As is the street above. Soft music in the distance. Not a soul around them. And Matt wants to claim this night for them. A bed, open to the sky and the ocean.

Alejandro’s mouth trails hot kisses down his stomach and Matt’s nails drag across his shoulders when he feels teeth and lips at the inside of his thigh.

“Oh god, please.”

He tugs at Alejandro’s hair, pulls him back up to claim his mouth with needy moans like it’s him who hasn’t had a release yet this night. But fuck, he’s so hard again.

“I want you.”

He echoes his own words, wraps a leg around Alejandro’s waist. Alejandro grunts, breaks the kiss.

“We don't have…”

Matt smiles at the tone of Alejandro’s voice. Needy and just that little bit desperate.

“Hmm. We do.”

His smile shifts to a full-blown grin at Alejandro’s surprised face and he leans over, fumbles with his pants in the sand until his fingers find that small vial in one of the pockets. Surprise turns into utter disbelief and Matt laughs as he presses the bottle into Alejandro’s hand.

_Óleo de coco._

“Even I understand that much Portuguese.”

The smug grin gets deeper the longer Alejandro stares at the label. In a state of mild shock. A memory from a long time ago bubbling up to the surface. Grazing fingertips and warm liquor down his throat. Messy.

“When did you…?”

He’s reduced Alejandro to mumbled half-sentences and he loves it.

“I might have bought it at the airport.”

Alejandro’s gaze finally shifts back to him and Matt can see the exact moment his brain makes that final connection to understand the dimensions of his preparations. Matt laughs. Loud and free. Roaring. Weights falling from his chest, bursting. He drags in gasps of warm air, feels life on the tip of his tongue, sweet like honey, salt, warmth. Intense. And Alejandro steals all that with his mouth on Matt’s suddenly, steals from his lungs, drinks from his lips. The drowning man. And Matt wants to give him everything. Lets him have it all.

The laughter dies down, turns into needy moans. Alejandro’s hands and mouth are everywhere and Matt feels himself drown in that heat. The seawater already dry on their skin, the warmth of the night surrounding them again, adding sweat to salt.

Heads touching. And Matt watches as Alejandro coats his fingers with oil, reaching down to brush along his cock and balls, down over sensitive skin, searching. Their gazes meet when Alejandro pushes the first finger inside and Matt grips the back of his neck to pull him close. He lets him see everything. Wants to show him. Needs him to watch as he starts to fall apart under his hands. Alejandro moans with him, pushes at his thigh to spread him open. Adds a second finger. A third.

Matt is losing it, panting heavily, arching his back, memories of seven weeks ago flooding his brain. That first time. Sweet, sweet insecurity. Alejandro curls his fingers and Matt’s toes curl on the bed. His gaze slips away when his head falls back. Alejandro’s mouth is at his throat, biting, sucking. He adopts a relentless pace as he leans over Matt, working him hard.

“God, Matt. You’re so beautiful.”

Matt groans, hears Alejandro echo him. And then.

“Touch yourself, Matt.”

And he burns. Skin on fire. His hand grasping his own cock, finding a rhythm. Alejandro moans. Fingers gone, but before Matt can miss them, he feels Alejandro push into him. And he just wants to sell his soul and never look back.

Fingers tight in Alejandro’s hair, kiss messy and hot, grunting into each other’s mouths, nails digging into his skin, hands spreading him, pulling him close. Alejandro rocks into him, losing his rhythm so fast, and Matt sucks at his skin, salt against his tongue, his own hand slippery around his cock.

“Wait for me, Matt.”

And Alejandro’s hand wraps around his, fast. And Matt wants to say _always_ , but his orgasm pulls him over the edge, hits him hard, strings him up high and crashes him down into the sea again. Hot and slick spilling over their hands like Alejandro’s name spills from his lips. His body goes taut and he feels Alejandro’s rhythm break completely with how tight he is. Feels him barely move inside him. Feels his hips stutter. A sob. And a long moan pressed into his skin.

They pause.

Fixed point.

Then Matt takes a breath first and the stars begin to move again. Waves rolling ashore. Warm breeze on his slick skin. His heart beating in staccato. Alejandro is a warm weight pressing him into the bed and he can’t stop the words before they tumble over his lips.

“I love you.”

He feels the exact second Alejandro stops breathing. And his foggy brain tries to claw its way through his post-orgasmic haze. Wants to say—

What?

The way Alejandro has his face tucked against his neck, collapsing on Matt after his own orgasm. What does he want to say? Take it back?

“I love you.”

He says it again, loud and clear, for the stars to hear. Kisses Alejandro’s temple and whispers.

“I love you.”

Just for him. He pulls at him, gently, shoves at him to get him to look at him. An ocean of conflicting emotions warring on Alejandro’s face. Wild and stormy. Dark. Deep. Matt holds his gaze.

“I love you.”

Lets that sink in. Then kisses him. Repeats it against his lips again and again. Feels a deep sigh roll through Alejandro’s body, from his toes up. Matt plants kisses all over his face. Holds his head.

“It’s okay. Take your time. ”

Alejandro’s eyes open and Matt thinks he’s looking right into his soul. Bare. Naked. Everything. The whole universe. His whole world.

Fixed point.

Matt roles them to the side, wraps himself around Alejandro and tucks him under his chin. He stares at the sun almost but not yet peaking over the horizon, just beginning its journey of the new day. A golden band, bright against the dwindling night sky. The moon and stars still visible. He feels the sand between his toes. The dry salt on his skin. Smells it in Alejandro’s hair. Sees his wedding band, another golden band, where his hand rests on Matt’s hip. Watches that too while their breaths settle. The warmth like a blanket, already promising the heat of the coming day.

He’s drifting already when a thought tugs at the back of his mind. A funny thought. He smiles into Alejandro’s hair.

“I think we forgot out shoes.”

He feels Alejandro come back from his own thoughts too. Stirring in his arms.

“Hmm. We also didn’t pay.”

Matt’s brain fumbles with that information for a second before he realises it’s true and he starts to chuckle softly. Lazily trails his fingers through Alejandro’s hair.

“I think we can never come back here again.”

Alejandro hums against his skin at that conclusion, pushes himself up on his elbow and looks down at him. Matt wants to burn the expression he wears into the back of his skull. Relaxed. Warm. Soft. Happy. Alejandro smiles at him, draws circles on Matt’s chest with light fingertips.

“Rio is a big city.”

And Matt starts to laugh so loud, he’s sure they can hear him across the whole bay.


End file.
